WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Tucker Carlson and Maria Bartiromo are both reporting that the most disruptive individual to ever set foot in D.C. is with child.
Carlson said that he heard it from Sean Hannity, who heard it from Ann Coulter, who heard it from Marjorie’s former maid, Olivia Pencilbox.
Pencilbox was asked by Pico de Gallo, with Tittle Tattle Tonight, if she was perhaps a disgruntled employee who was possibly making up the pregnant story.
Olivia, whose divorce was final last Tuesday, asked “What da hell does disgruntled mean?”
When told that it meant angry or dissatisfied, she shook her head and said that she’s neither angry nor dissatisfied, but then added that she hates Taylor Greene because she told her that she wanted for her to get a tattoo with the letters GOP on her ass, like MTG has.
Meanwhile, Taylor Greene, says she can’t be pregnant because she hasn’t been banged since January 17.
The word on the street of D.C. however, says that there are 3 choices as to who impregnated the sewer-dwelling creature.
According to GOP maven, Ann Coulter the three possible choices are Matt Gaetz, Donald Trump, and Mitch McConnell.
Mrs. McConnell told Coulter than she can strike Mitch off her list, because “Old Turtlehead” hasn’t had a woody since September of 1999.