WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) – According to The Sports Bet Gazette, there is no more troubled owner in the world of sports, than Daniel Marc Synder, owner of the Washington Football Team, formerly known as The Washington Redskins.
Snyder has had more ups and downs than a prostitute’s panties. He has been accused of everything from molesting his cheerleaders to illegally parking in a handicapped parking space.
One of is close friends says that Danny is even more paranoid than Donald “Jumpsuit” Trump.
Snyder swears that he does not hear voices, but he does point out that he has seen zombies in his backyard, gremlins in his garage, and just last Tuesday, he saw the dreaded Chupacabra sitting in his burgundy and gold 2021 Rolls Royce.
The man who VP Kamala Harris calls “Nervous Nelly” recently told Zorro La Bamba with the Sports Bet Gazette, that he has already decided on a new name for his D.C. team.
When asked what it is, he said that he will announce it at an upcoming team meeting.
He did note that the team colors will still be burgundy and gold, plus he plans to add the color chartreuse to represent FedEx Field’s Astroturf.
SIDENOTE: A team insider stated that he saw a partial list with the proposed names which include, the Weasels, the Barbarians, and the Fighting Ferrets.