NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The largest company in the entire world, Bezos-Musk, Inc., has just made an offer to purchase England’s most popular football team (soccer in the US), the Manchester United Red Devils.
Jeff Bezos said that although he’s a fan of Liverpool F.C., he would like to purchase Man U, and move the team to Austin, Texas.
Elon Musk concurs with Bezos, and added that the two would definitely change the name of the team.
When asked what they would change the team name to, he replied that the Red Devils would become the Blue Devils.
Why? Bezos was asked.
He answered that with both him and Elon being card-carrying Democrats, it just stands to reason that they would both prefer the color blue to the color red.
Texas residents Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, George Strait, and hip hop artist Lil Yo Sista Gurl, have already inquired about purchasing season’s tickets to the soon-to-be Austin Blue Devils soccer team.
Meanwhile, Loretta Piffinshaw with England’s Ta Ta For Now News, asked Red Devils super star Harry Maguire what he thought about the team moving to America.
Maguire grinned, took a bite of his cilantro-flavored crumpet, and replied that he loves Austin; the weather, the music on 6th Street, and the beautiful University of Texas cowgirls in their sexy, tight-fitting Daisy Duke short shorts.