The Isle of Wight has been rocked by the latest revelations in the so-called Pandora Papers, that show that Arthur Entwhistle, Mayor of Cowes, has been using his position to obtain free donkey rides for his grandchildren for the last 3 summers. Documents also appear to show him treating seaside snacks as tax-deductible expenses, with one receipt for a stick of candy floss and 3 ice cream cones – all with flakes, wafer and strawberry sauce – showing the lavish lifestyle which Mr Entwhistle enjoyed.
“I honestly had no idea what was going on” said Agatha, one of the donkeys that has found herself unwittingly at the heart of the scandal. “I thought I saw those kids quite a lot, I’d remember them anywhere after Kyle was sick on me that time, but I am a simple artiste dedicated to serving my public – I don’t concern myself with the grubby finances of the business.”
However, Mr Entwhistle has denied that he has done anything wrong. “It’s all perfectly legal” he said. “If a donkey owner worried about the renewal of their licence wishes to offer my grandchildren a free ride, for example once every Saturday and every weekday afternoon in the school holidays, who am I to suspect anything untoward? Now if you’ll excuse me, my wife and I are hoping to purchase a beach hut for our retirement, and our estate agents Blair and Blair tell us there’s a lot of paperwork we need to complete.”
Posted: Oct 4th, 2021 by Sir Lupus