Wednesday, 6 October 2021
UK PM, Boris Johnson, has outlined his future plans to turn the UK into a nation of Masterminds and ‘Untermenschen’ will not be allowed to work in England unless they possess a university degree!
The UK cabbage pickers union are up in arms, or deep in the mud, at Johnson’s latest ‘Master Race’ plan, but he just brushed their protests off by claiming,
“The UK will now rule the world once again, and I studied ‘Mein Kampf’ over and over again until I was convinced by Hitler, this is the only way forward, Jawohl!”
Criteria for highly qualified cabbage, Brussel Sprout, and other veggie pickers, attempting to enter the UK is at least a diploma from a prominent University, preferably the Sorbonne, Berlin, Milan, Madrid, Amsterdam universities, but certainly not a diploma from Bucharest, Sofia, Warsaw, or other unacceptable Eastern European universities!
Johnson is also demanding that imported HGV drivers, slaughterhouse staff, Amazon pickers and packers, etc, must have at least A level GCE standard diplomas, can read Shakespeare backwards in perfect Oxford English, and promise to sing the UK National Anthem, God Shave our Glorious Queen, every morning before entering their torturous places of work!
Young Brits will not be allowed to filthy their hands and must reach academic standards worthy of Johnson’s immaculate standards, meaning at least they have to grunt like pigs in perfect harmony, the Bounders! If they fail their A levels, they will be sent to Auschwitz, or other charming Nazi locations, to teach them a damn good lesson in how to become a member of Johnson’s future ‘Master Race!’
Johnson’s less radical Conservative party members are rather worried about their PM’s plan, but he has ordered them to discard their posh, Made in Saville Row suits, and replace them with Knickerbockers and Jackboots. If they disobey, they will be forced into picking cabbages with other highly qualified ‘Untermenschen’, or slaughtering pigs and sheep imported for faraway New Zealand, certainly not the EU!