LONDON – (Satire News) – The Bee’s Knees News Agency is reporting that Queen Elizabeth II, will be visiting three countries in early 2022.
Her majesty will travel to China, where she will discuss with President Xi Jinping the dreaded fortune cookie scandal.
She will next fly to Russia, where she’ll meet with President Vladimir Putin, and talk about how easily he was able to put the orange sack of sheep manure, the Trumptard, under his thumb.
Queen Lizzy, as Simon Cowell and Adele both refer to her, will close out her three-country tour in Peru, where she will visit Machu Pichu, and discuss why llamas are not mating as much as they were 2 years ago.
BKNA senior reporter Birmingham Cribworthy, noted that her majesty confided to her son Prince Charles that she’s taking the tri-country trip to take a break from all of the football rumors regarding Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, and Tottenham Hotspur.
Cribworthy asked the queen what exactly she meant by rumors and she replied, that her and her royal pedicurist, Lorenzo P. Hoodweather, are big fans of English football and all of the hullabaloo that goes with it.
In fact the queen says that one of her most prized possessions is a football that was personally autographed by Javier Hernandez Balcazar, who is better known as Chicharito, a super star who played for the Man U Red Devils between 2010 and 2015.