Chores can be a real bone of contention even between loving partners. And, unfortunately, things like a pile of unwashed dishes or an unwillingness to take out the garbage can spiral into some serious arguments that strike at the very bedrock of the relationship. Other times, the very topic of avoiding chores can spark a secret ‘war’ between spouses. One such case is what happened with redditor u/lappisl, who shared her story on the AITA subreddit.
The woman explained how her boyfriend purposefully avoided chores by pretending that he doesn’t know how to do them. This, of course, was complete cow doodoo because he could do everything fine when he was living alone; he simply didn’t want to anymore. Instead, he blamed his girlfriend for having cleanliness standards that are way too high.
So, the redditor came up with a cunning plan (any fans of ‘Blackadder’ here?). She started believing him when he said he was trying and she stopped taking care of every mess left behind, big or small. Scroll down for the full story, Pandas!
Doing chores isn’t the most pleasant thing in the world, but it’s a necessity. However, not everyone wants to pull their weight
Image credits: jim
A woman turned to Reddit to share how her boyfriend pretended he’s not good at doing chores and what happened next
The most impressive thing, for me, is that the redditor’s plan actually worked. After showing her boyfriend what life would be like if she didn’t pick up after him, she actually converted him to her way of thinking. In the end, he was a changed man. He realized how awful things were if he couldn’t do chores properly. A wake-up call indeed.
“He’s stopped being so lazy about chores after he realized I seem totally okay with leaving stuff done badly and that he’ll be living with it,” u/lappisl writes.
However, the woman still felt guilty about having been petty and doing a bit of manipulating herself. That’s why she turned to the AITA subreddit for a verdict on whether or not she was a jerk for what she did.
The redditor’s post was wildly popular. It got over 33.5k upvotes and literally hundreds of awards in the span of just 3 days. What’s more, her tale prompted over 2.6k comments to be written. Most people thought that the girlfriend did nothing wrong at all. However, what’s your verdict on this, dear Readers? Whose side are you on?
During a previous interview with Bored Panda, relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot explained the necessity of dividing up chores between partners. “Divvying up house chores is a necessity. If one partner consistently does the majority of the work, typically it leads to that partner feeling like a nanny,” she shared.
One thing that partners can do is be honest with one another about which chores they don’t mind doing and which ones they positively hate. “For example, I don’t mind cleaning toilets but I hate vacuuming, so my partner is the one who vacuums and I’m the one that cleans the bathroom. For any chores that both partners don’t want to do, take turns alternating. This will vary from couple to couple but the goal here is to keep communication open, fair, and realistic for each other’s schedules,” coach Alex said.
If you do get into an argument about chores, you can end up with a so-called “post-argument hangover.” Couples need to get past this and reconnect. “I recommend physical touch in the form of a hug or a 6-second kiss, the reason for this is co-regulation,” she said.
“[Co-regulation is] how we self soothe as infants; a baby cries and a caregiver comes to cuddle and soothe the baby. As adults, co-regulation is very powerful and something we can use to our advantage. So even though you may not feel like hugging or kissing your partner post-argument, as soon as you can bring yourself to do so, go for it. Your nervous system will thank you as it regulates with your partner’s nervous system by sensing their heart rate and breathing.”
Here’s what some redditors thought of the entire situation. Have a read through some of their thoughts below