Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, high salaries and breezing by on ‘easy mode’ when you’re a man. No matter your gender, life is challenging. Your purpose isn’t handed to you on a silver platter. And happiness isn’t a guarantee if you don’t strive to move toward it. And there are a lot of things that guys would love everyone to know about what it’s actually like to be a man. Though, sometimes, we’re far too shy to say them out loud.
However, anonymity helps. Internet users have taken to Reddit to share the most annoying things about being a guy, after being prompted to open up their hearts by user u/justjuiced22. The answers, which you’ll find below, are candid and range from the silly-yet-relatable to the more serious. Have a read through the posts as you scroll down and upvote the ones that you agree with or that you were surprised by.
Do you have some thoughts on your mind that you’d like to share with the other readers? That’s what the comment section is there for, Pandas. So don’t be shy, share your own insights about the viral Reddit thread and what these men’s answers say about society, below.
I reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly for a few comments about masculinity, confidence, and men’s issues. Here’s what he had to say. “I’d say biggest issues that men have to deal with nowadays revolve around their inputs. Social media, TV, music, etc. Most people have inputs that constantly spout negativity and victim mentality. These inputs ultimately dictate their thoughts and as a result of their actions,” he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for the full interview with Jack.
When I’m out alone with my toddler a lot of women look at me as if I’m an anomaly and a lot of guys look at me as if I’m being forced to do this. Like the “oof sorry bro” face.
It’s weird that being a good dad is apparently such a rare thing that when I’m fully in charge of my son people assume there’s something wrong with me and my partners relationship. I just like spending time with my son and pushing a stroller doesn’t make me less of a man.
According to fitness expert Jack, the biggest issue for men is not having a purpose in life. That, in turn, affects all areas of a person’s life. ” I believe the core of being a good man is in true purpose. Men without purpose tend to be unhappy, depressed, lost,” Jack shared his thoughts with Bored Panda.
“Figure out your purpose by getting clear on your values and what’s most important to you. As far as activities go, I’m always an advocate of pursuing good health as that is our foundation for our mind, energy, and mood.”
Jack added that he believes there “absolutely” is “a crisis for confidence among men.” In his view, the reasons for this are obvious. “Most men have no reason to be confident. 73% are overweight, 80% are in debt, 50% are divorced. The best thing men can do to overcome this is to commit to the journey of self-development and finding their purpose,” he said.
The expert advocates pursuing excellence in health, wealth, and relationships. “When you do this, you provide yourself true reasons to build confidence.”
Shopping for clothes. I’ve noticed in every clothing store, we have this small corner in the back of the store for our clothes then the rest of the store is 95% female clothing.
The thread links to the broader discussion of what guys and ‘real men’ should and shouldn’t do, what behaviors are frowned upon by society, and understanding of masculinity leads to a healthy, happy lifestyle.
A short while ago, I spoke about men’s issues and masculinity with redditor M_RONA who gave some great in-depth insights on the topic.
“I think, as men, we need to be more open about our issues and acknowledge the fact that we face some tough [stuff], often imposed on us by other guys. There’s nothing wrong with being honest about what’s bothering us, and I think just being able to talk about some of the issues we face would be a major contributing factor to our general well-being. Something as simple as just asking our friends how they’re doing in life could go a long way!” he told Bored Panda in an honest and open interview.
Getting very few/no compliments from my SO. I want to be told nice things about myself too.
Not being able to talk about our emotions. Like hello, hi, I am a human being who would like to talk about their problems without the feeling of being judged.
According to M_RONA, one thing that’s happening in modern times is that the term ‘toxic masculinity’ gets taken way out of context, gets used where it shouldn’t, and sometimes misrepresents reality.
“While I absolutely agree that there are many male traits taken to the extreme that have horrible consequences for the people around them, I think the term is sadly being overused to mislabel normal and perfectly healthy male behavior,” he explained.
The interviewee noted that it’s often other men who pressure guys into conforming and acting a certain way. This, in turn, can make it very hard for men to be emotionally vulnerable when they need to be.
I’m 20, have no facial hair, very little muscle mass (barely started working out this year), almost no stamina, kissless, virgin, got slapped at a party recently (by some drunk dude), and I collect action figures (I’m still working on not being too ashamed of this one).
I feel like a total loser sometimes. Like I’m not a real man. It hurts, but at the same time I don’t want to try to put on a fake man mask or anything. I guess I’m just too young to figure these things out.
Men’s swimming suits. . The mesh on the inside rubs and chafes your upper thighs. The only solution is to either wear speedos (gross) or underwear under my shorts while swimming.
“A lot of guys were talking about how, as a man, they found it extremely difficult to talk and be open about their feelings. I think that stems from this notion that men are supposed to be so hardened and stoic that we never let things get to us, and if we ever experience a negative emotion, we shouldn’t process it, we should just bottle it up and ‘be a man.'”
According to M_RONA, having a stoic attitude and a hardened mind are “certainly virtuous values” that help in life. But if these values are taken to the extreme and repress any and all emotions, the end result can be very harmful.
“The basic attitude of ‘men should do this, and women should do that’ is hampering to both men and women, I think, something both sexes are guilty of doing, unfortunately,” M_RONA shared with Bored Panda.
“I think we all face issues of conformity and set expectations for what we’re supposed to do, and I guess it’s up to all of us to promote and cheer on people who don’t fit into certain categories that we make for ourselves.”
Trying to shave those damn hairs on your Adam’s apple without slicing your throat open
Meanwhile, British psychotherapist Silva Neves told Bored Panda that toxic masculinity is mostly centered around a “general attitude perpetuated by systemic misogyny” than specific behaviors.
He detailed that at the core of these “distorted ideas” lie things like the notion that men should “always be winners,” shouldn’t feel any vulnerability, and shouldn’t be perceived as weak or soft.
“Men with toxic masculinity usually have negative views towards women’s rights (including their rights to the freedom of their own sexuality) and they tend to be homophobic,” the expert said.
“A man with healthy masculinity is the opposite to these traits: someone who is self-reflective, embraces their emotions including sadness, anxiety and crying, a man who isn’t afraid of their own femininity and believes that women are equal, and therefore are very clear about respecting boundaries and consent with women.”
The assumption that because I am the father that I don’t know, or am incapable of taking care of my kids. People ask my wife all the time if she needs to rush home when she leaves the kids with me. I am not a babysitter, I know what I am doing.
This might seem petty or dumb, but right now, my fiancée and I are planning our wedding (She’s female, I’m Male, we’re a hetero couple).
I’m SUPER into the planning. I’m not at all a typical “macho” “cant be bothered with the frills and pomps” type of dude. I’m having fun helping putting together this day for my best friend and I!
Everytime we meet with a vendor they solely talk to her and ignore me entirely, acting on an assumption that she’s a typical “Bridezilla” planning this day single handedly and I’m just some Bro she’s shacking up with. When I do pitch in, the vendors almost act in an “ooooook, dont worry big guy, leave this to the adults” kind of way. It’s more obvious in some than it is in others, but its damn infuriating. It’s extremely frustrating and belittling. My fiancée is aware of it, and sticks up for me when necessary.
Like snap dude, you’re damn straight I’ve got an opinion on the aesthetic of our [email protected]#$ing orchid placement, take me seriously!
Walking into a public restroom and getting your shoes stuck to the ground because of all the dried piss on the floor.
Not being socially acceptable to carry a purse.
Like yeah, I’d love to always have my earbuds, phone charger, deodorant, small cologne sampler, and be able to store my keys, wallet, and phone without either stabbing my legs with keys when the pants are tight or having my phone slip out when I’m getting out of cars with loose fitting pants. I can think of so many things I’d bring in my man purse…
Being judged almost exclusively on one’s financial stability, in an economy that makes financial stability very difficult to achieve.
Being the person to go check out the noise that just happened in a creepy place, to promptly be brutally murdered by some evil demon spirit
Honestly, I think the most annoying thing is the competitiveness of other males. Especially when it comes to women. I’ve been out with gfs and some dude will come up and blatantly start hitting on her. We’d make it apparent that we’re together and then the ridicule starts. “You’re with this guy?” “I bet he really sucks at ____.” “I could be better than him.” That alpha male shit bugs the hell out of me.
People saying that men alone with their kids are “babysitting”
Probably the fact that we’re expected to have the courage to approach women at bars or wherever else, which wouldn’t be so intimidating if the perception of said flirting didn’t depend entirely on how attractive they happen to find us. We’re told “the worst thing she can do is say no” but it feels pretty shitty when she and her friends straight up laugh as you walk away, or even worse, to your face. As someone fairly middle of the road in terms of looks, it’s like “Oh boy, am I gonna have a fun conversation or are she and her friends gonna laugh at me, let’s roll those dice!!!” Most of the women I talk to who decide they’re not interested are polite about it and I appreciate those people, but some are just mean, and most of us guys aren’t quite as emotionless as we’re supposed to be. That stuff is a big feels bad.
The stigma that every time I talk to a woman I don’t know I automatically want to date them. Like fuck maybe I like talking to women because men don’t open up about feelings and women actually listen just lookin for a friend man.
Society’s view of what’s masculine when you’re a straight small male that doesn’t try to be super masculine.
Dealing with other men. The number of testosterone poisoned, porcelain figurine fragile ego having bastards seems endless.
The male stereotypes. Sometimes a guy needs to cry and just let stuff out. Or being strong and doing physical work isn’t his thing.
Hearing girls complain all the time how hard it is being a girl. Because obviously boys have everything perfect, and because every problem that only women can fix.
Used to be getting random boners at inappropriate times. Now, it’s not being able to get a boner at appropriate times.
Assuming everything doesn’t mean anything to me. Like I love my friends and girlfriend, I like my stuff, people don’t seem to get that
It feels wrong to cry. I just finished season 3 of stranger things and cried. It was a good but sad moment.
Less annoying and more upsetting but: The lack of mental health outreach for men.
Most girls expecting you to pay for everything all the time.
Not being able to hide flaws as well as women can.
Singleness. Wanting something that’s out of my reach(companionship). Life would be so much easier if I simply did not want a girlfriend. It’s not like women are to blame. I don’t resent anyone other than myself for it. But I hate that I want something that is out of my ability to control. It’s inconvenient and causes a lot of suffering.
Living in fear of being labeled as a “creep” or “pervert” for trying to talk to a girl
Being told that my emotions don’t matter. You know what happens when people bottle up their emotions? They either kill themselves or end up on the 6:00 news.
Women being wary of you because you’re a guy. Although they’re in their right too, it doesn’t feel good having people move to the other side of the street or look anxious on the bus. You can’t really do anything about it either, saying “I don’t bite” doesn’t help any situation. Knowing you make people uncomfortable simply by being male inevitably leads to guilt… guilt just for being who you are.
People assuming youre gay for liking certain things like;
listening to Lady Gaga/One direction/madonna (for example)
not liking sports
hanging out with girls
being dramatic Like, its just weird. This doesnt stop me from doing this, but the fact that guys are made to feel ashamed for these things is horrible. (Nothing wrong with being gay, its just not that fun when youre actually NOT gay.)
Other guys being completely disgusting in public restrooms, there’s fucking puddles in front of the urinal, hair on the bottom of the urinal, toilet paper strewn across the place, and they dont flush sometimes even when #2. Gross.
Being physically and mentally abused usually means a lot less to people than if it were a girl who were the victim. If the girl’s the abuser and you’re the victim almost no one will care at all and will almost always shame you for it. And when you try to defend yourself against a female, you’re looked at like the monster
The fact that the female characters in video games always get the best customisation options, but if you play as a female character when you have a choice not to will lead to people making fun of you.
That’s from my experience, my brother has made many gay insults towards me when he found out that my Pokémon X character was female, along with others.
Outside of that, in the real world, the same thing actually applies. Girls can wear clothes that are “intended for men” without getting mocked, but guys can’t wear clothes that are “intended for females.”
I do not really like much of anything about it. Male parts kind of get in the way a lot, and I am always worried that they stand out, because if they do then others will find me creepy. Also I sweat a lot! And it is smelly and I do not like that. Perhaps it is strange, but I kind of really wish that I could smell nice! And… I do kind of want to try to wear a dress, but I feel like that would attract negative attention. I feel like everything I want to do is the exact opposite of what would be masculine and I hate it
We are expected to be sex experts. I had sex only once, don’t expect too much from me.
Peeing, then shaking it, even dabbing the tip with a square of tissue…but still dribbling a little piss in my drawers. Also, ass hair.
Never being approached by women. I’m sure it also has to do alot with looks but I can’t really change that and multiple back to back rejections make you less interested in trying to initiate, you just feel like a bother at a certain point.
People instantly assuming you’re a pedophile when you try to talk to younger girls. Like can’t I just be nice. Girls aren’t judged when they talk to younger guys.
When you are single you are supposed to be the aggressive but not too aggressive….and that amount varies according to the girl. Some women prefer to be the initiator but that’s rare.
Expectations of the society, Which will inevitably and conveniently vary based on the circumstances, and more often than not, once fulfilled, you’d still be largely uncredited for, since that’s what Men/guys are “supposed” to do.
When it gets hot out and our ping pongs stick to the inside of our leg like tennis balls onto velcro
Being horny practically all the time. It affects the way I think and behave. Sometimes I want to be productive and focus on other things but my brain is having none of it.
Shrinkage is a real thing. I’ve been in the pool and go home to find my shriveled up dick clinging to my balls like a baby to a mothers teat
Around kids? Your suspicious, dangerous or incapable, or worse
Around women? You’re a pig, a pervert, violent, dangerous
At work? You don’t have a life or kids, you’re obviously big and strong you can work another shift, let karen go home early for her botox treatment.
In the news? You’re Evil, you’re part of the patriarchy, it’s all your fault, you should be ashamed, you’re just as responsible for things that happened 100 years ago, you need to check your privilege and do more
In court? You’re the man its your fault, you’re not maternal, you’re working too many hours to see your kids that often.
I’m just a happily married dude who likes to coo like a moron at my local racoons & deer along side my wife. I’ve never done anything to anyone, not a criminal or dangerous, and I don’t bother folk. Cut me some slack damn it.
The automatic assumption that we should be the ones responsible for handling the vast majority of physically demanding, or otherwise difficult or unpleasant tasks in virtually any scenario involving both men and women.
Sexism on both sides. Either women holding double standards(not all women), or being ashamed of those males who are sexist.
Butt hairs. I have no idea what evolutionary advantage these things provided us, but I can absolutely say they are unnecessary in the modern world.
Being tagged as a potential creep (for the lack of better wording) for simply existing. Like, man… I can’t ask the time or if the bus already has gone to anyone without receiving an “I have a boyfriend” response or similar.
Worse when you have a small cousin or a niece/nephew. I just want to play tag with them like any normal children. They get tired and the parents get a little time for them, how is that wrong???
Dating and socializing are much harder for guys. And that’s an understatement
Nothing is really annoying, but whoever designed boxers I straight up want to fight them for making such an uncomfortable product
My father stripped me naked and beat me with his belt as punishment when I misbehaved, whereas my sister just got grounded.
Not being able to enjoy the park properly during the day. If there are kids on the playground, I get weird looks looks from the parents when I sit at the bench. My house is a shithole, I just want to enjoy the park not creep on your shitty kid.
Urinal cakes! This is a message to anyone that orders them for your/a business: stop buying the pink hard hockey puck ones and buy the silicone ones that don’t deflect urine back onto the hapless user of said urinal!! They also smell better.
I have far more body hair than I ever wanted.
My girlfirend just cheated on me after 4 and a half years and everyone’s treating me like I’m going to start swinging even though I’ve never been violent. Shit hurts. And since it happened only one mate has been on my side.
I’m in Iran and in Iran, men must perform a 2 years Forced military service after age 18 in a really bad situation and if you don’t you can’t travel to another country! as a male it’s really annoying for me because I don’t want to waste 2 years of my life.
Nobody really cares about your well-being except your mom.
Being told how to be a guy by everyone, from incels to feminists.
You can’ t win.
I’m not sure if it’s just a guy thing, but those weird pants boners. When you sit down and the zipper area folds up and looks like a boner, and stays that way, no matter how much you readjust your pants
Knowing that when I get older I will have a ball sack that resembles 2 golf balls banging around in a old worn out sock. Can’t wait for that.
The fact no matter how hard I try I always catch myself staring at boobs.
Always having to move my lil guy so it isn’t uncomfortable
Trying to take a shit early in the morning whilst having an erection… but that’s just the beginning, you then have to hold your schlong so it doesn’t touch the water, because there’s this unknown fear of what could happen to it when in contact with the forbidden water, could it fell off? nobody knows, we may never know.
Absent minded dick touching. I’ll be fondling myself and not even realize it, and when I do notice I feel like a piece of shit.
I would say depends on age but for the most part of younger life till 40 , being constantly obsessed with sex and the need to shag. Sometimes you just need a break , also it’s a huge distraction and energy and money grabber.
Teachers lack of effort or attention on what I need help with because they expect me to be messing around anyways. Love it.
Shaving. No matter how close you shave, you’re scratchy. Normally, that’s fine, but you really can’t get smooth enough for a lady friend.
I can do a nice wet shave with 4 passes and my wife will still complain that I’m scratchy. I don’t even have a heavy beard. I just have really stiff hair in the goatee area. I even had a barber give me a nice wet shave the other day and he gave up. He criticized me for having bristly hair.
It’s better if I keep a few days of stubble. That’s less scratchy apparently.
I know women shave much larger area. I understand. I shave my armpits (recommend for all men, it’s awesome).. That lasts for days and is pretty easy. Shaving one’s face sucks. It’s like shaving a scrub brush.
People telling me to stop man spreading when they don’t know that it will cause me to squish my balls
More of an annoyance with becoming a male adult. When instead of guiding their kids on how to greet people, parents start getting protective when their kids get close to me. Also just people perceiving me more as a threat because I’m a bit quiet
To awkward to make friends and to ugly to find love but I’m a guy so no one gives a fuck
Well, there the whole being significantly more likely to die from… just about everything.
The pressure to look and act a certain way much like woman face but because part of it is we are not supposed to talk about feelings or even acknowledge them a lot of the time its hard to deal with.
The fact that in some relationships (not all) the man is supposed to earn his partner, being romantic and all, while the woman keeps asking for more romance and doesn’t do anything about it
Dating Apps on the Male side, is knowing what it is liked to be rejected 100s of times a day/week, and then having to make the first move/be original, and somehow say something clever that isn’t “small talk” while working with (most times) no more than a few pictures, or the worst (imo) when the only info to go off of is that they “don’t do small talk.”
I agree “small talk” isn’t exciting, but it’s the seed that makes a real conversation grow. It can be difficult to find confidence to attempt to grow a conversation after spending so much time being rejected, and one person whom matched with you won’t even say “hi”. I will take a “hi” anytime and not judge for a single second.
People constantly telling you to man up yet women are constantly allowed to show they’re emotions for some reason. Seriously what did we ever do?
The fact that everybody that isn’t a man believes that all of us are so tough and we should be able to walk off a bullet wound and such. That’s why people find it sad when a grown man cries, because they’re under the impression that the man is too tough to cry.
The fact that society always paint me to be the bad guy. I am expected to be ashamed of being a male. If I talk to kids I must be a pedophile, if I talk to women I must be hitting on them and be potential rapist. Etc…
Having to wear pants at my work during the summer
Not having as much rights as women when it comes to children and families
I can’t just livestream myself on twitch with some of my dick showing and rake in the dough.
The double standards between the sexes. Women can get away with way worse shit than men can. Look at the news stories if you don’t believe me.
Not being able to walk home alone at night in peace. I always get judged by people and women fear me just because I’m a man.