Montgomery, AL – The state of Alabama has outlawed all books. Governor Kay Ivey on Tuesday signed the legislation into law, making it illegal to own or read books.
“This is a landmark law,” said the governor, holding a torch above a pile of books. As the crowd cheered, Ivey set the books on fire.
“No more books! No more books!” chanted the crowd.
“Except, of course, our precious Bible,” said Ivey. “It’s the only book we need, and it is the sole exemption in this great law.”
“The great state of Alabama is proudly last in education, healthcare, and pretty much every other socialist construct. Other states will surely follow our lead!”