British Prime Minister (at the time of writing) Boris Johnson has revealed that his best, and most expensive suit is still at the dry cleaner.
With a suit liberally festooned with baby vomit, with his unbrushed hair, an air of nonchalance, Johnson addressed the nation, telling them that Christmas might be cancelled, again, but not as charmingly as The Sheriff of Nottingham did in documentary Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.
‘Yes, gosh, crikey phwoar’ said Johnson, still not getting the hang of saying important things in public. ‘The thing is right, just do as we say, no, do as we do, no, that’s not right either. Anyway, wear a mask, but don’t wear a mask, kiss someone, have an affair with someone. Matt Hancock did, and just look what happened to him.’
A special advisor has been sent to get the suit.