Tuesday, 14 December 2021
IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA, Virginia – (Satire News) – The Nation’s #1 variety discount store chain has just hit a gold mine!
Boom Boom News is reporting that the store that sells all kinds of items for $1.25 has ventured into the pet arena.
And national sales have gone through the roof an astoundingly amazing 945%!
One store in Ruidoso, New Mexico, in just one 10-hour period, sold 71 puppies, 49 kittens, 31 minature turtles, 26 canaries, 7 beavers, and 2 piranhas.
Store manager Margarito de La Vela, 24, remarked that he has back orders pending for 203 puppies and 172 kittens.
He giggled as he said that one blue-haired elderly woman, who is 89, placed an order for an African elephant.
SIDENOTE: BBN writer Chipper Caruso noted that the only negative aspect is that all Dollar Tree stores now sound like the San Diego Zoo.