AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The governor who is without a shadow of a doubt the worst governor in the entire nation is at it again.
Governor Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott, has just issued a state proclamation that any resident of Texas who got divorced due to an adulterous affair will not be allowed to vote in any state elections.
Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle was the first to report this rather odd, strange, fucked-up directive by the man that the entire Houston Astros team refers to as being even uglier than one of America’s most ugliest pieces-of-shit, Rudy “The Swamp Creature” Giuliani.
Abbott who is rumored to be of the swish sashaying ilk (gayish), has been rumored to have had no less than 7 adulterous affairs himself (five with women, one with a male, and one with a carnival hermaphrodite).
In the meantime, the Las Vegas, Nevada-based National Adulterous Guild of America (NAGA), has filed a $72 million personal lawsuit against Abbott on grounds of Ipso facto adulterated fuckatosis.