Tallahassee, Florida – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis today signed a new law creating a private military force that will operate under his rule.

“This law creates the Florida Freedom Fighters,” said DeSantis. “I alone will direct this elite fighting force that is designed to promote the values of the Florida Republican Party.”

The governor went on to say that the uniforms will be dark brown.

“Contrasting nicely with the gleaming, white faces of the soldiers for freedom,” said Governor DeSantis.

“This new army replaces the old National Guard,” said General Biff DeSantis, who by chance, is the governor’s brother. “Under the inspired leadership of our great Governor, the FFF will keep Florida pointed in the right, white direction.”