Washington, D.C. – America’s favorite Muppet doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, has admitted that he has taken 6453 Covid vaccine shots, and he feels totally fine!
Fauci said that he has recieved so many shots because every time he meets someone that won’t get vaccinated due to being scared of needles, he always tells the person, “Oh, you won’t feel a thing. Watch, I’ll go first.”
“And I always do,” admitted Fauci, explaining that this happens at least 20 times a day. “I basically get a booster shot every half hour, or so,” admitted Fauci, doing the math in his head. “I was at the mall the other day, buying some christmas gifts, (spoiler alert, everyone is getting Corona Spore stuffies this year,) and all these children were lined up to get their shots. Every single one of those kids was scared of needles, so I got 24 jabs, just in that little session alone! And I feel fine. Ain’t gettin’ Omicron, that’s for damn sure!”
Fauci also admitted that he mixes and matches shots as well. He even took some Sputnik vaccines, ‘just to shake it up a bit.’ But admitted that after the Sputnik vaccine, he found himself pinning up pictures of Putin doing brave and manly activities. ‘So, I stopped taking those vaccines. My office was starting to look like Trump’s White House bathroom. Damn that guy was a weirdo.”