DAYTON, OH-Clint Smith, a Dayton Ohio manufacturing manager at Caltech Auto Parts, took a wild leap forward with cancel culture this week by writing up a petition to have 156,742 big breasted women kicked off Tik-Tok for causing him to get an erection while at his 9-5 job.
“It’s hard to concentrate on my work and my productivity has suffered for it,” said the 48 year single dad with slick black hair and oil greased palms.
“These women….they stand there jiggling their double D’s, lip syncing to catch phrases and leaving me suffering at my desk with an old fashioned hard on. It’s painful cockteasing. It’s blue balls. They need to suck it up, come to my office, and finish me off. It ends today. I will win this fight against these narcissists.”
“It looked like he had a gun in his pants,” said Sally Weathers, a longtime Dayton resident and photojournalist who snapped a high definition picture of Smith scruffily leaving his office the other day, clearly agitated and walking erratically.
“It was funny. I wish him the best with his activism.”