Tuesday, 21 December 2021
BEAVER DAM, Montana – (Satire News) – The Montana Department of Varmints has issued an emergency declaration, declaring that the skunk population has ballooned to astronomical proportions.
MDV spokeswoman, Wilma P. Fiffy, who has been legally separated from her husband Angus for 17 years, stated that in the 47 years she has worked for the MDV, she has never seen the state’s skunk population get so ridiculously out of hand.
Wilma, who is not the least bit shy giggled as she said tongue-in-cheek that it’s a damn good thing that skunks don’t smell pretty otherwise the state would be covered with two layers of the stinking motherfuckers.
Ms. Fiffy explained that most of the damn, bastard and bitch skunks will be rounded up, put in 18-wheelers, and driven to the northern border, where they will all be released into Canada.