LIVERPOOL – (UK Satire) – Sarah Ferguson, aka The Duchess of York, spoke candidly with Bee’s Knees reporter Birmingham Cribworthy, and told him to please write a column saying that she (Fergie) wants everyone to stop calling her “The Duchess of Pork.”
Fergie said that it was possibly funny the first 157 times, but now it is just downright bloody, blooming vulgar.
She noted that she is one of the nicest females in the entire United Kingdom.
Ferguson said that she is still traumatized about having had her big toe (along with her uvula) sucked by American businessman John Bryan back in 1992, and then having the toe-sucking photo splattered all over the front page of countless supermarket tabloids, Time Magazine, and even black publication Afro Sheen Magazine.
The Duchess of York, commented that lots of famous British men, including Simon Cowell, Len Goodman, Piers Morgan, Prince Charles, and The Spoof humor site administrator/editor Mark Lowton say that she (Fergie) still looks fairly damn blooming well for a mature woman of 62.
SIDENOTE: Even Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger, who is 78, said that he would not kick the Duchess of York out of his bed, unless it was just too crowded with groupies and such.