In a claim that will once more open up the privacy debate, Google have declared that their innovative glasses could have helped police in identifying celebratory perverts. ‘For a long time now, the public have struggled to distinguish between Ant and Dec. Yes they look like Geordie hobbits, but which is which? These glasses will tell you’. When reporters pointed at that neither Ant or Dec had been implicated in any wrong-doing, Google clarified: ‘That’s irrelevant. Their appearance alone will reveal their propensity for crime. Take celebrity couple Tess Daly and Vernon Kay. Ms. Daly is symmetrical perfection, while Mr Kay with his broken nose, lazy eye, cauliflower ear – would give Picasso nightmares. Clearly we can conclude that Ms. Daly is an angel whose farts smell of cinnamon, while Mr Kay is a psychopath who corrupts goats. Basic science’.