Classic 1987 family romcom Predator starring the dashing Arnold Schwarzenegger is soon to hit the West End as an all-singing all-dancing musical. Fans of extroverts who sing their conversations to each other in ways which defy melody are said to be more excited than when Michael Ball started drinking his own range of perfume.
Writer and Director of the show, Joan Bosford explained how she came up with idea. ‘Well, I was knocking back the usual Tuesday Stellas with my gals Sandra ‘n Iris, when Predator came on the telly. Iris pipes up how she reckoned that Predator was top bollocks, and Sandy says that she can’t understand why it’s never been made into a musical.
‘That got me thinking, why not make it into a musical? There’s loads of money in it and the plot is tailor-made. The romantic tension between Arnie as ‘Dutch’, and his lover from another world… well, it’s electric, isn’t it? All sexy like in the woods ‘n all. So I wrote a few notes down, like a couple of Cs, and a G, and that was all of the music sorted for the whole show.
‘My favourite number is ‘I Want You Back.’ The invisible Predator leads a beautiful rolling duet with Dutch, and then finally reveals himself while gently caressing the small of the back of one of Dutch’s crew, before ripping the spine out and swinging the blood soaked skull around his head like some sort of deranged whirligig.
‘And there won’t be a dry eye in the house during the scene where Dutch and his mates mow down acres of pristine rain forest with all of their heaviest weaponry while formation dancing and singing ‘If It Bleeds We Can Kill It.‘
The show opens at the Dreary Lane Theatre next Thursday, with special reduced prices for young children.