Just an hour after Dr. Fauci ordered that Santa must shelter-in-place this year until further notice, President Biden issued a statement claiming he was in contact with NORAD, tracking Santa’s progress.
Reached at his home for comment, Fauci sounded angry at the president. “I don’t know who he’s talking to and what they’re saying but I do know Santa is sheltering-in-place so there’s nothing to track along those lines.”
When shown President Biden’s tweet, Fauci seemed to lose patience “Like I just told you, I don’t know who he’s talking about. He could be talking to Howdy Doody for all I know! In his mental state I’m sure he talks to lots of imaginary people all the time!”
When we reached out to the president for his reaction, he had himself a hearty chuckle and told us “Tony’s a real kidder!”
When we asked for the final word on the situation, Joe smiled and said “I’ll give you four words: ‘cream of tomato soup! And don’t forget the saltines!”
When our reporter asked what the president wanted to say to the children, he shouted “Good old soup and crackers baby!”