Saturday, 25 December 2021
WASHINGTON D.C. – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper has just broken the story that effective immediately, the twice-impeached, one-term loser Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump will no longer have his 12-man Secret Service detail paid for by the taxpayers of the United States.
The CIA informed President Biden that the dozen Secret Service agents are costing the citizens of the United States a total of $1.5 million per year.
POTUS stated that this is simply bullshit, because 85% of the time the Trumptard is playing golf.
VP Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and special White House advisor Robert DiNiro all agree that this fucked up practice has got to stop.
Pelosi said that “Shitface” Trump needs to start paying for his security.
The Daily Wind stated that the predatory perv (Trump) claims that he cannot afford to pay for his own personal security detail because of the tremendous amount of money he is having to spend on his team of 17 lawyers.
Meanwhile, the most popular vice-president, in the history of vice-presidents, Kamala Harris suggested that the 331-pound tub of lard, then simply stay in his Mar-a-Lago complex and not venture out.