Saturday, 25 December 2021
PALM BEACH, Florida – (Satire News) – Hearsay Today broke the story that old “Fat Ass” better known as Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, has been feeling totally despondent as of late.
HT reporter Abby Yukon learned from the “Pussy Grabber’s” proctologist that he (DJT) still cannot believe he lost the presidential election to Joe Biden.
The piece-of-shit “Prick Face” (aka Donald Trump) is still insisting that he won 49 of the 50 states, and actually won the election by 7.6 billion votes; including 1.9 billion in Alabama alone.
Meanwhile a highly fed up Melania told Anderson Cooper, “Ju know Coopy, for bunshes and bunshes of jeers, I hab bean telling tu peoples dat Donaldo is reelee fucked up beeg times in hease nageen.”
When old “Double Chin” was rolled into the emergency room he was yelling uncontrollably that he had won and that Pelosi had changed most of the 7.6 billion votes.
[PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Mr. Trump is really and truly one extremely messed up fella, who needs a lobotomy, an exorcism, and a vasectomy.]