MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – The BuzzFuzz News Agency has just learned from a Trump family member why Ivanka has scheduled weekly sessions with her therapist.
The family member spoke under condition of anonymity with reporter Taffeta Kixx, at an undisclosed location in downtown Manhattan (Central Park).
It appears that Ivanka’s main therapist, (she actually has three), has learned the reason why Ivankita, as her biological mother, Princess Paloma, calls her, is so darn messed up.
The therapist, who would only give the last four numbers of his social security number (6906), noted that the Trumptard’s favorite child was bitten on her left knee by a Chihuahua when she was 7-years-old.
He went on to say that as a result Ivanka is extremely scared of little dogs, such as Chihuahuas, Pomeranians, Miniature St. Bernards, and Dwarf Dalmatians.
To help her with her fear of tiny dogs, Ivanka’s father (DJT) showered his little girl with gifts including a Shetland pony, imported from Pisagovia, a collection of 193 Barbie Dolls, cases of M&M’s, and dozens of boxes of Crayola Crayons.
Her therapist did stress that he truly feels that after 25 or so more therapeutic sessions, she should find herself in a much happier mental, physical, and emotional state.
SIDENOTE: As a child growing up, Ivanka could not watch TV shows about dogs such as “Lassie,” “Rin Tin Tin,” and “Bozo The Circus Shitzu.”