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    Home » Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time
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    Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    1278-funnyvotBy 1278-funnyvotJanuary 4, 2022No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    “I’ve helped clients in worse shape than you.”

    “I’ve helped clients in worse shape than you.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    They haven’t, and they’re absolutely panicking inside about what the fuck to do with you.

    “You’re going to look in the mirror and like the person looking back at you.”

    “You’re going to look in the mirror and like the person looking back at you.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Not unless their burpees also cure lifelong mental illness.

    “You can do this.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Do they not have access to the gym’s attendance data?

    “Muscle weighs more than fat.”

    “Muscle weighs more than fat.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    They’re thinking of skin. Skin weighs more than fat.

    “You could stand to lose 700 pounds or so.”

    “You could stand to lose 700 pounds or so.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    And put your TLC production deal in jeopardy?

    “I know what abs are.”

    “I know what abs are.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Most trainers don’t and discreetly google the muscle group while you’re doing crunches.

    “If you survive, you’re not working hard enough.”

    “If you survive, you’re not working hard enough.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    The unscrupulous trainer always tells their clients that someone should discover their dead body if they’re serious about gains.

    “Pasta is bad for you.”

    “Pasta is bad for you.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Only true in cases where the person they say this to has a family, a partner, or something else to live for.

    “Don’t work out in jeans.”

    “Don’t work out in jeans.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    A complete fabrication that trainers will often say out of jealousy for how good your ass looks in those Levi’s.

    “It’s a good deal when you look at what you’re getting for the price.”

    “It’s a good deal when you look at what you’re getting for the price.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Not when you factor in the reality that you’re only going to show up for the first session in a 10-class bundle.

    “These Banana Muffin Bites are the perfect workout recovery food.”

    “These Banana Muffin Bites are the perfect workout recovery food.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    He’s clearly just shilling his own snack food company which has bankrupted him and torn apart his entire family.

    “Every exercise requires that I gently knead your buttocks.”

    “Every exercise requires that I gently knead your buttocks.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Disturbing and untrue. It is 30 to 40% at most.

    “I actually trained Jason Momoa for his role in Knife Lord.”

    “I actually trained Jason Momoa for his role in Knife Lord.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Jason Momoa has never been in a film with the name Knife Lord, and we’re pretty sure that’s not even a real franchise.

    “You have an outstanding bill of $900.”

    “You have an outstanding bill of $900.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    They’re just saying this to motivate you to keep on pushing.

    “Your husband will never find out that we are sleeping together.”

    “Your husband will never find out that we are sleeping together.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    You’ve been pounding each other nonstop in the gym steam room. There’s no way someone doesn’t tell him.

    “See you next week!”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Most trainers can’t resist the call of the road and are off to wherever their feet take them soon after your session.

    “It’s never too late to start your fitness journey.”

    “It’s never too late to start your fitness journey.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    The official cut-off is age 56.

    “That’s a world record for push-ups.”

    “That’s a world record for push-ups.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    The world record is not three with no actual good ones.

    “Your credit card was denied”

    “Your credit card was denied”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    No, that can’t be right; you just used that card this morning. Ask them to swipe it again.

    “If you don’t exercise your triceps enough, they will fall off.”

    “If you don’t exercise your triceps enough, they will fall off.”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    Triceps only fall off as a result of certain diseases, it has nothing to do with your level of fitness.

    “You’ve hit your goal weight!”

    “You’ve hit your goal weight!”

    Image for article titled Lies Fitness Trainers Tell Their Clients All The Time

    And yet, it’s never going to be enough, is it?



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