Camel Toe wins best new heavy metal band

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LONDON – ( UK Satire) – The Brit Music Scene Magazine has just named The Best Heavy Metal Band of The Year.

This year’s winner is Camel Toe, and the five lads that hail from Wimbledon beat out a field of 90 bands, including such popular bands as Lady Lucy’s Labia Majora Band, The Vampire Virgins of Venice, The Sherwood Forest Wankers, and the band with perhaps the most repulsive name, The Bloody Blooming Tampons.

BMSM writer Tammy Blimeyweather, 27, said that she personally interviewed the members of The Camel Toe, and she found the blokes to be quite charming, especially the group’s lead singer Bartholemew Spiffy, 29, who is the step-grandson of Mick Jagger’s ex-wife Jerry Hall.

The group which includes a set of twins and a set of triplets currently has a song on England’s Top 99 Chart.

The song (#3 on the chart) was actually penned by Elton John’s lyricist, Bernie Taupin, and is titled, “I Had Her Knickers Off Her Sweet Liverpudlian Ass A Mere 7 Minutes Into Our First Date.”

A spokesperson for The Camel Toe said that the dudes will be starting their tour of American in April. The tour is being billed as “The Look Out Yanks – Here Come The Limeys” Tour.

The tour’s opening act, as of press time, has not been determined, but rumors are that it may be Led Zeppelin or Led Zeppelin soundalike band Greta Van Fleet.

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