Taliban allow women to nag only during daylight hours

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Wednesday, 5 January 2022

Afghanistan’s Taliban leaders have announced, that as part of their inclusivity policy towards women, a controlled amount of spousal nagging will be permitted from February this year during daylight hours, after which a strict ban will be imposed.

Any woman caught droning on to her spouse about his failings as a husband beyond this designated period will be stoned to death inside the nearest football stadium.

A Taliban spokesman told reporters: ‘A certain amount of mild nagging will be permitted during daylight hours.

‘Women will be free to complain about minor irritations such as a husband’s habit of leaving wet towels on the floor in the bathroom, hookah smoking in the car while driving, or loud chanting while reading the Quran in bed.

‘However, women will be strictly forbidden to address more serious issues like a man’s serial adultery or his habitual use of the lash to keep her in order.

‘All Afghan women will be given these generous rights and will adhere to them on pain of death.’

A spokeswoman for a women’s rights organisation in Kabul said last night: ‘It’s certainly a small step forward, and I for one can’t wait to give my husband some serious grief over his general untidiness and his disgusting habit of blowing his nose on the goats’

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