Wednesday, 5 January 2022
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The New York Police Department has just issued a notice that 91% of all Brooklyn prostitutes would rather wear short shorts instead of short skirts.
Detective Jacobi Ribbatiski, stated that when hookers wear their tight tiny shorts it gives the Johns (procuers of sex) a much better look at the merchandise that they will be renting for $75 for maybe 9 minutes tops.
Ribbatiski, who heads up the BPD vice squad unit, says that it is very hard to find Daisy Duke short shorts in Brooklyn, because the professional sluts buy them up as soon as they hit the shelves.
In the meantime, a 17-year-old young man, we’ll call Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, to protect his identify, says that twice a month he goes over to New Jersey where he buys as many as 70 Daisy Duke short shorts for an average of $12 and then sells them in Brooklyn for as much as $93 each.
SIDENOTE: BPD stated that recently a shipment of the Daisy Duke’s from New Jersey was hijacked and estimates are that the value of the short shorts was upward of $27,000.