SOMEWHERE OVER IOWA – (Satire News) – Sky Blue Airlines has just confirmed that two of their cockpit crew members did in fact get into an altercation while 30,000 feet up in the sky.
An airline spokewoman, identified as Virginia Liliana Tippenkunter, 61, stated that the incident occurred on flight SB 709136 from Brooklyn to Avocado Heights (Calif.).
Mrs. Tippenkunter, assured the flying public that both employees, identified as Capt. Cyrus P. Plickens, 63, (the pilot) and Capt. Norman F. Faxalini, 48, (the co-pilot), have been put on administrative leave, and will have to undergo psychiatric, therapeutic, sexual, emotional, and urological evaluations before being allowed back into the cockpit.
Ashburn Wasabi, a reporter with the Omnium Gatherum News Agency learned that the altercation began when the co-pilot informed the pilot that he was speeding.
The pilot replied that he was going 325 mph in a 325 mph speed zone. The co-pilot replied that he was actually going 340, and told him to notch off the throttle immediately, or he would take the wheel.
At that point the pilot put the plane in ‘automatic pilot,’ and he hit the co-pilot with a bacon, egg, and broccoli burrito he (the pilot) was eating at the time.
The co-pilot managed to wrestle the burrito away from the pilot and he shoved part of it up his nose.
At that point the plane hit a flock of Canadian geese and the plane actually jerked noticeably.
Just then one of the flight attendants, identified as Martha Hilldensack, 38, entered the cock pit and pepper sprayed the two fighting crew members.
She placed the plane on ‘automatic pilot’ until the two assholes finally came to their senses, apologized to each other, hugged, and started singing “Hava Nagila.”