BILLINGSGATE POST: “If this ain’t the answer to the COVID pandemic, you ain’t asking the right question.”
Dr. Fauci, citing Elmer Smuckmeister, the medical czar/pig farmer of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, said that Smuckmeister’s latest experiment, with using a secret crazy glue concoction to seal all of the orifices of his pigs, resulted in zero transmission of the deadly virus from both pig to pig, but also from pig to human.
A quantum leap in epidemiology? Perhaps.
In the controlled environment of his pig-sty, Smuckmeister used an osmotic combination of crazy glue and sunscreen that allowed a pathway for plasma-membrane oxygen transport. By doing so, the concoction overcomes the lipid isoform barriers that prevent transpiration from occurring in most mammals by bye-passing them through the selective pores of semi-permeable membranes. Concomitant to and perhaps, counterintuitively, this allows for both the filtering out of the Coronavirus and for the pig to inhale and exhale without contaminating his fellow pigs – a win-win deal for porcines and humanity in general.
Smuckmeister: “Obviously, we got a long way to go before the FDA approves this. But I think time is on my side. At the very least, my pigs and I are safe.”
Dr. Slim: “I didn’t understand a word of it. But I agree with him completely.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. That’s why I think President Biden will jump on this.”