NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The makers of the best pubic region tightening cream on the market are thrilled to say that it is now finally available in local pharmacies.

Dr. Petrov P. Vinalabinio, of Greenland, who invented the cream, which is manufactured under the name Crème de la Crème de La Labia Minora can be purchased at Walgreens and CVS, as well as some select Jack-in-the-Box fast food restaurants.

During his initial research Dr. Vinnie, as many of his patients call him, tested out the cream on 4,200 women ranging in ages from 32 to 92.

And after 7 years, “Voila!” as they say in Brooklyn, and “Eureka” as they say in St. Louis, women all over America began noticing that their beavers were becoming as tight as a snare drum.

Dr. V. is very proud and honored to say that Khloe Kardashian has just been signed to be the official spokeswoman for the cunt cream, as talk show host Chelsea Handler refers to it.