KABUL, Afghanistan – (US Satire) – The new president of Afghanistan, Abu Taboo Fashu, is extremely thrilled, and proud that he has finally managed to find a reputable bookkeeper to do the books of the new Taliban government.

The official Aghani news agency, Two Humped, reports that after interviewing over 140 females from all over the world, President Fashu has chosen Margarita Poshweather, 32, who up until recently had been a bookkeeper for Sports Balls Illustrated Daily, for many years.

The recently divorced Ms. Poshweather, is a close friend of VP Kamala Harris and once dated Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady.

BuzzFuzz spoke with Poshweather at a local crab shoppe in Boston and asked what her salary would be.

Ms. Poshweather, smiled politely and replied that she cannot say, but did add that it will be somewhere between $2.8 million, and $3.3 million per year, with a clothing allowance of $800,000.