The Fez wearing shopkeeper from Mr Benn is to move into the corporate training sector, it has been confirmed.
The news comes after 40 years of him providing rapid job and career outplacement services, as a sideline to his main job as a fancy dress and costume hire supplier.
‘It was kind of a gift I had anyway – this one guy in particular would come in to the shop not really knowing why he was there were and I’d just pick up on sone nugget of small talk and think – he’d be a great red knight, or maybe a hunter’, the mild-mannered but surprisingly insightful shopkeeper recalled.
‘What you never saw was all the skills development work I did with him in that changing room out the back. I couldn’t send him out in the world of work without some rudimentary induction training and onboarding.’
‘That was the heavy lifting stuff – I had to read up for ages on advanced astronaut techniques one week and then apply my knowledge of health and safety requirements of the Early 70s British zookeeping industry the next ’, continued the shopkeeper.
‘The competence mapping requirements for deep sea divers and cavemen were an absolute nightmare to be honest.. And there’s just less opportunities for wizards and cowboys in the new gig economy’.
The shopkeeper will ply his trade now as Festive Road Consultancy, providing outplacement and training services for corporate clients.
‘They turn up and listen to a short introductory PowerPoint deck – narrated by Raymond Briggs – and then, as if by magic, I’ll be there’, said the shopkeeper. ‘I’ll give some basic careers advice and there’s always a little life lesson but to be honest the punters will end up being able to work that out for themselves’.
‘I imagine there could be quite a lot of cash in the corporate market but I’m not in it for the money,’ concluded the avuncular shopkeeper.
‘I even let my clients keep a little momento of their day with me when we’re done. All I ever wanted is for people to imagine what is possible and be the best of themselves’.