Ohio’s General Assembly is finally dealing with its discriminatory gun laws. Senator Bob Smith of Ass Backwards County sponsored a new law that extends gun rights to school children.

According to Senator Smith a school group in his county petitioned the state to lower the minimum age for those who want to bear arms. The petition argued that both Al-Quaida and the Taliban recruit youths to their causes and attribute the practice to their success in creating hell on earth.

It was not clear at first whether the law could draw enough support. Some state lawmakers felt a minimum age of 12 is arbitrary and would undermine the goal of ensuring the state does not unduly limit gun shop profits. At the last minute, Smith and his colleague, Ima Dirtbag from Death Valley, forged a compromise. Children under 12 can apply for an exemption. Gun dealers have discretion in granting the exemptions.

In the interest of public safety people who cross state lines to purchase guns in Ohio must show they have not taken any gun training that their states might require. Smith said for the record that “It’s just not right for other states to put safety over profits. It’s not the American way.”