CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Tabloid Today has just announced that Russian President Vladimir “The Human Douche Bag” Putin has just passed four of the most evil pieces-of-shit assholes in history.
The publication’s senior writer Papaya Bamboo, stated that the Communistic hate-filled, satanesque mental midget is actually more evil than Hitler, Stalin, Hirohito, and Trump combined.
Meanwhile, Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene informed Miss Bamboo that she (MTG) spoke to her lover, the Trumptard, and she said that Donaldo, as MTG and Melania, both call the orange mess, is as angry as a rooster with a limp pecker in a chicken coop full of horny hens.
In Other Trump News. Sing Sing Prison officials have stated that when Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump enters Sing Sing, his cell mate will be VonTell “Crazy V” Washington-Jefferson, who is 6-foot-9-inches tall, weighs 417 pounds and hates Trump more than he hates his painful-as-shit ingrown big toenail.