AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The state’s law enforcement agency has just thwarted a plot that would have had the most hated governor in the history of hateful governors kidnapped.

Texas Rangers spokesperson Nanette Peggy Tullavinny, 42, reported that BuzzFuzz learned that a terrorist group in Costa Rica, was working with the infamous Taliban to capture the wheelchair-bound Greg “The Eggplant” Abbott.

The Central American group calling itself Los Hombres To Rid Political Rubbish, are committed to doing away with racist, bigoted individuals, mostly males.

The group acting in conjunction with The Taliban was going to kidnap Abbott, wheel chair and all, and take him to an old abandoned Jack-in-the-Box, in downtown Waxahachie, Texas.

The piece of shit, as all of the Houston Astros baseball players call Gregory, was to have been held until the state paid the $29.2 million ransom.

One senator from El Paso, replied that as far as he was concerned the kidnappers can keep the no good, shit-for-brains racist bitch and turn him into a maid, as terrorist groups tend to do with evil cocksuckers.