MAR-A-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – The word on the streets of Palm Beach, Florida is that the racist, 30,000 lies-spewing, pussy grabber, aka Donaldo Jonathan Erasmus Trump wants to hire Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene to be his 2024 presidential campaign manager.

According to The Alpha Beta News Agency, the Trumptard wants his former lover, MTG, to head up his campaign so bad he can taste her, I mean he can taste it.

Trump speaking at a Walmart parking lot before a crowd estimated to be between 9 and 13 shoppers remarked that Margorie may not be the prettiest tool in the toolbox, but she sure can give one hell of a (blank) job.

Meanwhile, ABNA’s Mimosa Sabrosa reports that Eric Trump is still as fucked up as ever, Melania is still sexting with LeBron James, Ivanka still loves kissing her daddy on the mouth, and Will Smith is still one hateful, mean, bastardized shithead. ■