Former favourite of Theresa May, Damian Green continues to maintain an ‘epic’ stash of workplace pornography to impress colleagues, especially lady bosses, an insider has claimed.

‘If he beckons me over one more time under the pretence of actually having finished a basic report I asked for seven months ago, only to show me two girls defecating into a glass and then eating it, then I will have to report him to HR,’ said Clarissa Bates, Head Talent Wrangler at Pornohut.

‘I mean, at least get hold of some new bukake and squirt stuff we haven’t all seen before 6,491 times. This guy came highly recommended from Conservative central office, so I was at least hoping for some basic S&M material. But I wouldn’t even trust him to fluff the sound guy on a softy shoot.

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