BILLINGSGATE POST: Forget the miles and miles of lizard-killing solar energy panels that spoil our great outdoors. Forget the ubiquitous windmills that dot our prairies and seas. Forget the promising use of hydrogen fuel to run our engines; likewise the experiments of creating energy by harnessing nuclear fission.
Instead, imagine a World with an unlimited source of clean energy that is completely renewable. As long as your mutt can lift his leg and fire hydrants are on every corner, this dream can come true.
During his Senate years, while commuting from Washington to his home in Delaware, Joe Biden couldn’t help but see the endless lines of dogs queuing up to take their turn peeing on the rusting fire hydrants that flashed by his train window on his commute.
While most of us thought that Joe had to read an instruction manual just to operate his BarcaLounger, he was in full command of the left side of his brain.
“Why couldn’t we,” he read from his Teleprompter, “commission dogs as auxiliary energy agents; and at the same time place artificial intelligence capabilities in the hydrants so that when the dogs lift their legs, it would command the fire hydrants to revolve counterclockwise to whichever way the dogs are facing, creating a kinetic bond coefficient with the hydrant greater than the energy required to empty their bladder; a win-win equation for both the dog and humanity in general.”
Dr. Slim: “Let’s see if his red-headed woodpecker can smart-ass her way through this one.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. I have a hunch she will do a reverse Quasimodo and take a pass.”