A former New Jersey school superintendent who admitted to regularly pooping on school playing fields has developed a device that fits into the anus to enable poo to be extruded in a variety of unusual shapes.

The man who now works as a cake decorator had his eureka moment when he read an article about square wombat plops and realised he would never have been caught if his turds were in aesthetically pleasing form. While applying royal icing to a wedding cake, it occurred to him that all he needed were hollow butt plug variants which would enable faeces to be extruded into a variety of shapes.

Planned initially to appeal to pedigree dog owners who don’t clear up after their pets, but would like others to know which breed of dog produced the excrement they just stepped in, the devices will have breed-specific shaped extruders.

He is currently attempting to source crowdfunding for his idea and is optimistic that ‘designer poo’ will become the next great rage in civilised society.

Image from Pixabay by ThomasWolter