SEATTLE – (Satire News) – All of her life, Dora Flora Hogwood, has battled fatness. When she was born she was so huge, that her mom’s screams could be heard four blocks from the hospital’s delivery room.
At birth, little Dora tipped the scales at 16 pounds 3 ounces. The nurses did not let her nurse from her mom, but instead they gave baby Dora Flora a baloney and cheese sandwich, some pretzels, and a Diet Dr. Pepper.
When Dora entered the first grade she easily outweighed her teacher, Mr. Trackton Bankstick, 42, by 29 pounds.
Miss Hogwood, who recently became engaged to a circus clown, again made headlines after she accidentally swallowed 119 diet pills and ended up losing 16 pounds in 45 minutes.
SIDENOTE: Dora’s finace, Walter Stiffinwax, recently said that after dating Dora for 7 months he is still finding parts on her body that he had no idea existed.