DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – A private investigating firm has managed to find Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump’s long-lost brother Dilbert Duxton Trump.

DD as he is known in the homeless community, is 13 months younger than Donald, but DD only weighs one-third of what his humongous tub-of-lard brother weighs. [DJT weighs 401 and DDT weighs 133].

The PI firm stated that Dilbert Duxton looks a lot like his racist, predatorial brother, although he is nowhere near as orange-looking as the lying loser.

DD also has an addiction to Big Macs, although, unlike Donald, who eats 9 Big Macs a day, Dilbert mostly only eats crackers, biscuits, M&Ms, cornbread, or whatever passersby give him.

SIDENOTE: When DJT was told that DNA tests clearly show that Dilbert Duxton is indeed his biological brother, he exploded and launched into an X-rated expletive harangue saying that the DNA results are merely a hoax, a witch hunt, and pretty much Bullshit 101.