MAR-A-LAGO – (Satire News) – The man who once said he would be president in 2024 has now changed his tune, as they say in the music world.
Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, recently told GOPicky Magazine reporter Tabitha Tula Wishywater, that his doctor has advised him to never again enter the world of politics.
Trump’s personal physicial, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, stated that due to Donald having several ailments; he suggests that he just spend the rest of his life playing golf, eating Big Macs, and grabbing pussy.
When asked what ailments Melania’s husband has, Dr. Fu Fi said that for one thing he has lesions on his tongue, that if not treated will soon render him speechless; and Fu Fi said that, that would be like a professional boxer not being able to use his left hand.
Another of Trump’s ailments has to do with the fact that he always, always has to blame somebody else for anything negative in his life. For example he likes to blame son Eric, for the fact that Hope Hicks dumped his orange ass, when Eric touched Hope’s pubic region without permission.
Meanwhile, Melania has pointed out that Donaldo still insists that he won the election knowing full well that Biden kicked his lying, whoremongering ass all the way from California to Maine.