HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – MSNBC has just issued breaking news that Will Smith’s two children Bippy (a boy) and Bappy (a girl) are so fucking embarrassed at the terroristic antics of their daddy, that both have decided to disown him.
Bippy and Bappy’s mom, the very peckerino-obsessed Jada Pinkett Smith, is not the least bit surprised. She told Boom Boom News writer Hacienda Fiddle that her kids are not as stupid as they look.
JPS noted that Will recently took a DNA test and it did show that he is in fact the biological father of the two kiddoes.
Miss Fiddle has learned from noted info guru, Andy Cohen, that Jada was actually not 100% sure that Willard, was the father of both Bippy and Bappy.
When asked who she felt the real father may be, she paused for a moment, she took a bite of her tarantula and cheese sandwich, and replied that it could have been Denzel Washington, LeBron James, Yo Yo Afro Woke, Jose Altuve, Matt Gaetz, or even RuPaul.