Much to the chagrin of President Putin, the Russian central bank has confirmed that it will be investing its capital reserves in leather trousers, tickets to Vegas and the albums of Kylie Minogue. The purchasing power of the gay community has long been established as much more stable than the heterosexual Rouble. Throughout the 70s Elton John was able to underwrite the entire British economy with just castoff sequins.
Mr Putin blamed outside factors for the falling Rouble; including effete Ukrainians and the US Dorothy dollar. A Kremlin spokesman said: ‘This is just a temporary measure, while the rouble continues to go down like a…like a…er, I can’t think of analogy that doesn’t sound like some form of cottaging. Look, for now, President Putin will just have to bite his pillow – tongue. TONGUE! I meant to say tongue.’
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