AMISH BUTTER, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – A Pennsylvania woman has come forward to say that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump had intimate relations with her as they were parked in her Amish buggy.
The woman, who would not give her name, told Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa, that Donski, as she calls him, seduced her after seeing her leave a Walmart, with a cart filled with carrots, Ramen, beer, and party nuts.
The Amish lady, who says she’s 39, recalls the Trumptard asking her if she wanted to see his orange-colored pee-pee (prick).
The woman, who we shall refer to as Stormy 2, misheard and she taught that he said his orange-colored peacock.
Since Stormy 2, is a fan of all kinds of birds including canaries, parrots, cockatoos, and homing pigeons she eagerly replied “Oh yes please!”
At that point Melania’s philandering pussy-grabbing husband climbed into her buggy and the two ended up getting to third base.
SIDENOTE: The Amish woman who has since been identified as Elvira Euneesha Frickenbuckler, says that Donski actually went past third base and ended up scoring.