Angelina Jolie was recently spotted in Kyiv, Ukraine, being an ambassador for refugees.

(Though why she was in Ukraine cannot be answered since refugees, by their definition, have all left since they were trying to get out of, not into, a war-torn nation.)

One pissed off soldier who had multiple wounds from heavy fighting asked Ms. Jolie, “Can you please stop signing autographs and pick up a fucking gun. This isn’t the time for a Hollywood photo op, bitch!”

Ms. Jolie replied, “Don’t you know who I am? No one talks to me like that except my father – for all the wrong reasons – and my brother – for all the right reasons!”

She then obsessively chewed on her lips to make them even fatter, and was then whisked away in an armored limo and flown out of the country in her private jet.

Sean Penn, however, has yet to sign a single autograph. Good for you, Spicoli!