CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Trumptard’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has just remarked that his long time friend, patient, and yarn spinner, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is going to have his tongue circumsized.
Dr. Fu Fi, who has tried and tried to get DJT to cut back on his 9-Big Macs-a day habit, stated that the oral procedure is not due to his obsessive burger-eating, but rather it stems from years, and years, and years of his constant, blatant, habitual lying.
The doctor said that a recent QuinniPinni Poll showed that in just his four years in office, the fella that everyone refers to as the human cesspool uttered over 37,900 lies.
The report went on to state that the orange tub of lard actually lied – in just those four years, more times than the combined totals of several states and countries including Mississippi, Iowa, Indonesia, Greenland, Pisagovia, Florida, Ireland, and Brazil.
SIDENOTE: Dr. Fu Fi did state that after the tongue circumcision Trump will still be able to still talk like normal, but there is a very good chance that his ear lobes will grow to the size of standard bowling balls.