Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, and his cabinet have officially declared that Russia is engaged in genocide against Ukraine.

When asked about the Chinese genocide of the Uyghur people, Trudeau said, “Duuuuuuuuuh … nope, it’s OK.”

Shortly after, this reporter was handed a top secret communiqué from a woman calling herself “Deep Labia”.

In the report was outlined an interview between Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Justin’s father, who visited China in 1972, and became best buddies with Mao Zedong after Trudeau accepted China’s desire to “swallow Taiwan whole”, as the report states.

This gave Pierre “old friend” status in China, a term of great respect and high approval. A very rare privilege for any world leader to have, especially one from the West. The report goes on to say that Trudeau’s approval by Mao himself was why Richard Nixon called Pierre, “that asshole Trudeau”.

When Justin Trudeau was asked if his father’s esteemed reputation in China was why he refuses to condemn the Uyghur genocide, he replied, “Duuuuuuuuuh … nope, it’s OK.”