And not soon enough!
In coming years, scientists report that sea levels will rise just enough to drown every city on Earth that’s close to a major waterway. Finally, all those land-locked countries will become prime real estate!
Hello, Chad, you sexy country! Where have you been all this time? No one knows!
So get out your flippers and snorkels because we’ll all soon be living under the sea!
Those who identify as fish will, of course, be first for the buffet, then mammals will have to wait their turn. This does not apply to whales and dolphins, of course, who will soon be hunting residents of both Japan and Norway, saying “It’s payback time, bitches!”
Along with fish, crustaceans will also have first choice at all the finest penthouse suites – located deep beneath the waves where Putin’s nuclear black rain can’t reach – and will be cracking open the shells of Conservative MPs and Republican Senators, all of whom were the first to deny, back in the 80s I think, that global warming didn’t exist!
Don’t forget to bring the lemons, fellas! Mmm, politicians … hard and crunchy on the outside, gross and gooey on the inside! Now that’s good eatin’!