The Deary-me Leader Kim Jong-un celebrated the successful firing of another missile into the ocean this week. ‘This is a great day for phytoplankton. For too long the running dogs of the American imperialists have oppressed the little guys at the bottom of the food chain, gobbling phytoplankton with no regard for its rights. Well, we showed them.’

Journalists asked how Americans are oppressing single-celled marine plant life. ‘They banned eating whales, which reduced predatorial pressure on zooplankton, thus increasing zooplankton numbers and reducing phytoplankton in a systemic response. Don’t they teach ecological population dynamics to journalists anymore?’

When questioned further about whether a North Korean missile could really distinguish between friendly phytoplankton and zooplanktonic foes, Kim Jong-un was philosophical. ‘Even one’s own must be sacrificed in war, just ask uncle Vlad.’

Image from Pixabay by FotoshopTofs

https://pixabay.com/photos/phytoplankton-plankton-1348508/